It is not much on the positive side but I still keep spending. Sometimes I also wonder. Thinking of it today, I avoid myself from buying subway for eleven ringgit but then I bought a small cup of cappuccino for ten ringgit.
The urge to keep rewarding myself or buy something better always got me spending. I can save more if I buy cheaper jogging shoes, cheaper tws earbud, keeping using the damaged phone. I keep reminding myself that I need to keep using this thing so the money spends to become more efficient. Simply a 100 ringgit shoes if you wore it 100 times it becomes only a ringgit per times compare to 40 ringgit shoes that you only wore twice. Thing like shirt, jeans and some food a can sustain myself better from buying a new one. I don't mind wearing old cloth.
I need to be better at choosing my spending. I splurged a lot on things like Lego, shoes, kitchen or house things that I seldom use. I keep buying them when I feel that I need them even I rarely need them. I have boxes of Lego yet to be open. In my defence, I don't have place to display them yet. For now, just keep them in the store.
When you become a parent, anything you spend or earn you keep thinking about your children. What to buy for them and what they like. How to make their life better. Aaron has a whole room of toys. I felt bad if I buy them cheap or fake toys. I felt that better I bought you expensive toys that you appreciate than cheap toys that you just throw away. Similar to cloth, I feel bad if I dress them in low-quality cloth. Abah never does it to us when we are growing up. I feel better my kids have less cloth but what they have is a good one.
I am far from job security or long term investment. Construction is far from secure now, not sure where our next project is and I only have investment plan not knowing when I will start it. The last day of 2020. I need to start soon.
Next, I am 30. The thirties is where you will struggle and work hard to strengthen what you had started. The forties will be too late. I hope the next ten year shall be better.
I have a lot of dreams. Good house, good car, holiday and travelling. Sometimes I wonder what other people less fortunate dream of. According to my wife, they just dream of surviving the next day. I pray not to be there.
To more of hustling, hard work and good life ahead.
Ahmad Syazzuwan
31 December 2020
Ancasa Royale Pekan