Wealth

I am in a position where I am not that comfortable or under any worst hardship. I am not financially that strong. I have some cash but I haven't reached my goal.

It is not much on the positive side but I still keep spending. Sometimes I also wonder. Thinking of it today, I avoid myself from buying subway for eleven ringgit but then I bought a small cup of cappuccino for ten ringgit.

The urge to keep rewarding myself or buy something better always got me spending. I can save more if I buy cheaper jogging shoes, cheaper tws earbud, keeping using the damaged phone. I keep reminding myself that I need to keep using this thing so the money spends to become more efficient. Simply a 100 ringgit shoes if you wore it 100 times it becomes only a ringgit per times compare to 40 ringgit shoes that you only wore twice. Thing like shirt, jeans and some food a can sustain myself better from buying a new one. I don't mind wearing old cloth.

I need to be better at choosing my spending. I splurged a lot on things like Lego, shoes, kitchen or house things that I seldom use. I keep buying them when I feel that I need them even I rarely need them. I have boxes of Lego yet to be open. In my defence, I don't have place to display them yet. For now, just keep them in the store.

When you become a parent, anything you spend or earn you keep thinking about your children. What to buy for them and what they like. How to make their life better. Aaron has a whole room of toys. I felt bad if I buy them cheap or fake toys. I felt that better I bought you expensive toys that you appreciate than cheap toys that you just throw away. Similar to cloth, I feel bad if I dress them in low-quality cloth. Abah never does it to us when we are growing up. I feel better my kids have less cloth but what they have is a good one.

I am far from job security or long term investment. Construction is far from secure now, not sure where our next project is and I only have investment plan not knowing when I will start it. The last day of 2020. I need to start soon.

Next, I am 30. The thirties is where you will struggle and work hard to strengthen what you had started. The forties will be too late. I hope the next ten year shall be better.

I have a lot of dreams. Good house, good car, holiday and travelling. Sometimes I wonder what other people less fortunate dream of. According to my wife, they just dream of surviving the next day. I pray not to be there.

To more of hustling, hard work and good life ahead.

Ahmad Syazzuwan

31 December 2020

Ancasa Royale Pekan

Bragging

Who would not want to brag? The pride and happiness you felt from bragging are very satisfying. It is understandable sometimes you work hard to be there hence, you deserve to brag. Even thou, Islam does not acknowledge Karma, but it's a fact you do good you will receive good in the end.

The context of brag in raising up your child. All parents should be happy in raising their child especially when all goes to plan. When I know my wife pregnant, I resist myself from bragging or talk bad about others. I am very afraid of the Karma that may happen later.

Knowing myself proud and bragging are self-build in me. Coming together with that is bad luck. So, I work hard to contain myself. Now, Aaron almost 4 years old. Seeing him growing up, I can say that he is above other coeval of him. We tried to educate him and get him ready for pre-school. Even now, we are very cautious to praise him in front of others. Bad luck or unfortunatelity can come at any time, in school, college, or even during his career. We always pray for him and his siblings to be raised up properly, ease to learning everything, and be given good health.

This day all these people writing and giving tips to raise children. You cannot do that and that afraid of depression and affecting the child's mental health. Myself growing with up with my parent wrath, rubber hose, and belt. I think I grow up just fine. It's not that you wish to shout or hit your child but sometimes it is necessary to allow them to learn what to do and don't.