2 APRIL

2 April. Today is my mum birthday. Thanks mama. I wished her this morning. Now i know her wish to have a holiday somewhere. Don't worry mum ill make your wish come true. Before i do anything big for myself first ill make your dream come true first. That my word.

2 April. Today is Yasmen birthday. Thanks for always being there for me. Sorry i can't give you the best birthday ever. I hope the dinner ill make for you will make you happy. I did not have any fancy idea or some expensive give. I am truly regret because today is your birthday but i cannot make you happy all day. Sorry

THE GREATEST TITTLE OF ALL

God decide to sent all Mother to heaven. Why did they deserve this free ticket. It's for what they have been put through and what the give to others. Your mom did not need to be in a situation to understand it sometime he did not even need to ask. She know by just seeing her son face. She hear all the thing even the smallest detail. No thing just too stupid to her even when you shit your life or just a small bruise from a bike fall. Hearing her voice just make up your feeling. She know when to hear and when to talk. Even she can solve it she do whatever she can. You can feel the sincerity of a mum to a child. Nothing can beat that. No one can replace your mum. She the one that really understand you. know how you feel about thing and never make a small of it. She know how hard you are and when the time come you crack. It's not a  solution or things that we really one. But someone who really feel what inside us. That what mum can give us no matter who she is. This can't be bought by money. Who did mother have all these give. I think they earn it having a child inside them, giving birth and raising up a child. It take plenty of time.You just can't decide simply to be a mum. You earn it. There room where mother out there fail. Poor their kids. I thanks my mum because she is a success in this. No one can be as good as her. If i have a reason to get up it you mum. 

AMOUNT OF MORPHINE, 10 MG OF COCAINE, 2.5 ML OF 98% ETHYL ALCOHOL

Doc, I'm dying, I'm feeling compromised 

And so dehumanized

I lost my final fight to disease, I feel that this is where it ends

I need that shot to enter my vein

My Brompton Cocktail blend

The agony is one hell of a fight. The result that contradict the choice. The burden it put on. The pain of disappointing all hope that been given. The feel when the one did not understand you. Give me my Brompton Cocktail Blend so i can just forget all this and sleep through and never awaken. 

'Cause I can't feel my face

I won't struggle on

In a world so cold

In a world so wrong

It been dark for me. It all when wrong. In a moment like that. It been long seen i got fuckup. These one hit me real good. My bone are freezing and my skin is bleeding from all the shattering.  

I'm not running away, been fighting this so long (so long)

Such a price that we pay, we gotta be so strong

In a lie... 

I know i had to face all this. There a thousand ways to do it but why these. Why sentence me to this cruelty. Stab me if you want. Take me to rest but don't take the hope on me. I have my wrong but the right i for other did make up for it for you

I'm tired, induced euphoria 

To help me move along 

I wanna meet my maker in peace, I want to feel alive again

So put that smile back on my face and mix it strong my friend

I put my body through something i never done before. The pain i put for it why now. Why you ruin it now. When these happen she never understand it. The pain just double. I am no normal people failure is not an option for me. Give hell to others. That make a different between me and them. 

I believe my sins will be forgiven

And I believe my choice will save me from this life

Please don't question why

My sins have been forgotten

I believe I'll find peace in afterlife

Please don't question why I left this way

If you decide to laugh now it your call believe i be back again. I am a man of vengeance. Next time i gonna hit you real hard. I did it once and did it again. I don't need someone to tell me what I need someone to hear my pain and take it as your too.

TAKE TIME READ

Don't ever compare other life with yours. You might think you got the hardest life but this does make you able to said that other people hardship nothing compare to you. Remember when you came to something and whine as if you gonna die do other mock you. They just silent and let you be. Everyone have a choice if you think too much but cannot make the action then suck you. Every time you said why this happen to me is because you are too coward to make a decision. Stuck being coward and let your life being other ass forever. There is never late until you are alive. Cherish the one that give in your life. Don't take them easy. There are not your servant. One day the may decide to be gone forever and if they are ready gone take lesson and don't let the other left you too. Taking other easy show how bad you are in appreciating other. Learn and learn not to do this from the opportunity you got. In life there are only us to blame. 

writing to who that inspire me who that concern and who decided to make a change in their life  

It easy to say what goes around come around.
How on the receiving end of it ? 
Some turn up good some turn up bad
How about your past haunted you back
Where will you run.
When you are on a thing u will not take much of its aftermatch
But now it creep back at me.
Totally worthless if i can cancel back my past i will
But i can't i have to take the pain and suffering
Make for the forgiveness and look forward
There is nothing but regret.
Dear god you can put me in any pain but don't take the one that i love far away from me.
Don't hurt her or them. She is to much for me. A day without her is an empty jar.
Please her believe me.