The one time i cannot maintain myself is when all thing i work for something get wash away so simple. The effort means nothing. Nothing at all. That is one time i'll be irrational and crazy. I admit it. I am a person that will do anything what i can and more than i can in order to archive something that i felt worth. Even the craziest and stupid thing. I will do. I sacrife everything. Even i hurt my self. For something I fell worth. A small child try hard to get all A's and number one in class for the sake getting a better school after this. He is innocent not knowing the cruelty of the world. Yet he get murder all his dreams are shattered and reply back with hurting. From there he learn "Dunia tak selalunya Indah" You can do all the thing right and still the world give me PALAT. I must really piss on the heaven door to get this. One after another till this day. My heart is long dead for miracle my body is bruised with cuts. Did i really deserve this. You can say all the thing you want aku berlagak aku sombong aku jahat aku tak guna is what if you didn't understand me. When will all this stop. Aku pun penat tapi aku tak kan mengalah dan hidup dalam kebabian dunia. What is really joy? The joy is when i fell appreciated. The feel appreciated. Yes sometime the reaction varies. A denial. or even a rejection. Without appreciation all thing i have done it is nothing. Just a rubbish. Some show appreciation by saying thanks, doing things in return or better really take a meaning in life of what i done and show it in their reaction and action. World also can say thanks by making all the thing right for once. Maybe its not time yet. That all i need and wanted.
