Tersirat

Apa yang orang nampak keluarga berpecah belah selepas mak atau ayah meninggal.

Tersirat:
Tak ada siapa tahu apa yang di dalam diri setiap individu itu. Tak ada siapa yang salah sebab semua pun rasa diri itu betul.

1 rasa:
Aku dah lama hidup dari susah. Dulu susah buat macam macam dengan bapak engkau. Sekarang masa aku nak hidup senang. Aku boleh buat apa aku nak. Pergi mana aku nak. Tak ada siapa nak halang aku.

2 rasa:
Aku kena kekalkan jaga apa yang bapak aku tinggalkan. Pastikan segala usaha dia dulu tak jadi sia sia.

3 rasa:
Bapak aku dah tak ada. Sekarang aku ada keluarga sendiri. Aku jaga keluarga aku dan hidup dengan keluarga lain secara professional.

4 rasa: bapak aku dah tak ada. Aku boleh buat apa yang aku nak. Aku boleh pergi mana mana. Bapak aku tinggal banyak duit. Aku akan jadi hebat. Orang akan sanjung aku.

5 rasa:
Aku dah tak ada bapak. Siapa yang nak ajar aku. Aku boleh hidup dalam dunia aku sendiri.

Hanya masa akan menentukan apa yang jadi elok atau hancur. Dengan masa juga salah satu akan cakap fuck it, i better of on my own. Hanya yang betul betul kuat akan kekal di atas. Tak ada siapa akan mengheret yang lain. Sampai masa tengelam lah kau hancur.

NAZREN

Nazren 28, 29 January 2019 11:45 pagi

Aku kenal kau dari sekolah rendah tapi form 3 kita memang rapat hinggalah hari ini.

Hati yang baik, selalu tak yakin, mempunyai banyak impian.

Aku antara orang yg push kau untuk keluar dari Pekan. Tengok dunia. Form 4 kewangan x mengizinkan. Lepas Form 6 baru kau dapat keluar. Degree lepas tu bekerja. Aku rsa kau dh pergi lagi jauh dari aku. Dah naik kapal terbang.

Mungkin ke apa yg jadi sebab kau keluar dari Pekan, kalau kau tak keluar mungkin hari ini hanya lah hari biasa.

Semoga kau tenang dekat sana. Berjumpa jodoh dan bahagia selamanya.

Amanah

Sesungguhnya Amanah itu berat.

Seberat berat Amanah itu
Walau Ilmu Agamamu dituntut dari semua ulama yang ada,
Walau sepuluh kali anda menunaikan haji,
Walau anda solat tunggang terbalik siang malam,
Walau anda berjubah berserban berjanggut hingga ke kaki,

Nescaya belum mampu anda membawa Amanah itu.

Seorang Imam dan Khatib yang di-Amanah-kan menyampaikan pesanan yang baik baik, pekara kebenaran ketika khutbah Jumaat.

Mendengar khutbah Jumaat ialah hukum wajib kepada semua lelaki islam.

Namun jika pekara yang disampaikan ketika khutbah ialah isu perkauman, membenci kaum lain, perihal politik.

Adakah itu menjalankan Amanah seorang Khatib?

Sesungguhnya anak-anak ku islam yang baik bukan di pakaian nya atau ceramah nya, ia dari perbuatan dan perlakuan nya. Hanya kita dan diri kita sendiri taw betapa Islam nya kita  

Being Husband

After nearly 2 years being husband and father of one what i can recall about being husband is patient is not enough, being alim ulamak is not enough, being caring is not enough, being romantic is not enough, for heaven sake the won't be enough trait required to be perfect husband.

Some night u sleep with your head wondering why your wife just silent all day long, the other night lot of thing running inside your head and you keep dissecting one by one and you just appear to be too quiet  and suddenly you got the blame to be too quiet. Some day you wonder you had spent a lot to give people what they want but thing still not right. The other you are compare to the other fellow who so sudden look like he spend fortune to his wife. The quick fix is for your mouth to just said it BS but you know if you say it maybe u feel clear a bit but later another crisis explode.

You may felt you had been caring and helpful enough by helping in your family, sacrifice enough when you put all your need behind, spend when deep down you know it just a waste but your love one want it. It hurt when you think you deep enough but for other u just not.

It really take a lot to be a good husband. Now i know why Abah become silent most of the time. Me myself can see myself going that way. We appear to be quiet to avoid more thing happening but inside our brain moving consider a lot of thing.

There is always easy way out where you can just ignore all the problem and issue but this will one day for sure will explode in your face in form off and old wife you can no longer control that have no respect for you, in form of your child with no future keep hanging to your life because you avoid to scold him when his wrong. I had saw all this happen to my close relative.

Moving

Maybe this is the time for me to move out, What i learn from my past some time i need to take risk and go for it.

I can jump to another company and hopefully earn more. I need to pay balance of my loan bond. Currently what i earn look sufficient but with the mortgage payment coming up i need to get more or else cukup cukup makan. Now i also felt unhappy with my current office politic. I just want to finish the work and move on but to much politic. Young chap want to show he can be the no 1 Hero and coward boss who don't want to say thing right to your face. Fuck up environment it is.

I just want to an engineer and built something but now it more like to soap opera. One or two day you are on leave suddenly you been stab on the back.