Being Husband

After nearly 2 years being husband and father of one what i can recall about being husband is patient is not enough, being alim ulamak is not enough, being caring is not enough, being romantic is not enough, for heaven sake the won't be enough trait required to be perfect husband.

Some night u sleep with your head wondering why your wife just silent all day long, the other night lot of thing running inside your head and you keep dissecting one by one and you just appear to be too quiet  and suddenly you got the blame to be too quiet. Some day you wonder you had spent a lot to give people what they want but thing still not right. The other you are compare to the other fellow who so sudden look like he spend fortune to his wife. The quick fix is for your mouth to just said it BS but you know if you say it maybe u feel clear a bit but later another crisis explode.

You may felt you had been caring and helpful enough by helping in your family, sacrifice enough when you put all your need behind, spend when deep down you know it just a waste but your love one want it. It hurt when you think you deep enough but for other u just not.

It really take a lot to be a good husband. Now i know why Abah become silent most of the time. Me myself can see myself going that way. We appear to be quiet to avoid more thing happening but inside our brain moving consider a lot of thing.

There is always easy way out where you can just ignore all the problem and issue but this will one day for sure will explode in your face in form off and old wife you can no longer control that have no respect for you, in form of your child with no future keep hanging to your life because you avoid to scold him when his wrong. I had saw all this happen to my close relative.

Moving

Maybe this is the time for me to move out, What i learn from my past some time i need to take risk and go for it.

I can jump to another company and hopefully earn more. I need to pay balance of my loan bond. Currently what i earn look sufficient but with the mortgage payment coming up i need to get more or else cukup cukup makan. Now i also felt unhappy with my current office politic. I just want to finish the work and move on but to much politic. Young chap want to show he can be the no 1 Hero and coward boss who don't want to say thing right to your face. Fuck up environment it is.

I just want to an engineer and built something but now it more like to soap opera. One or two day you are on leave suddenly you been stab on the back.

Kenal Dunia

To my Sons and Future Daughter,

I will bring u guys to explore all the thing possible. To learn all the thing in your enviroment. Macam mana aku dibesarkan dulu.

Supaya anak anak expose dgn semua. Supaya bila sampai masa mereka interact dgn dunia luar mereka taw bwa diri. Semoga mereka xjd golongan yg perabih duit ptptn shopping di mall, makan segala jenis kedai di bandar besar, beli baju mengarut, pergi tempat mengarut seperti mana aku tengok apa yg terjadi masa di uitm dulu. Biar diorng ada mind set aku xkisah pun semua ni abah aku dah bagi aku rsa lebih, bwa aku tempat yg jauh lebih hebat.

Kdang2 benda ni jadi  sbb parent xsempat nak expose kan anak2. Penting parent bagi ilmu dunia dkt anak. Belajar hormat orang. Ni bukan hormat yg belajar dkt sekolah agama. Ini lebih, ini ilmu bagaimana kau melihat manusia. Semoga ilmu ni manafaat untuk kamu semua.

Ketahui lah me and your mum dah jadi part of golongan yg hidup di KL. Bangun awal pagi hadapi jam nak kerja. Pergi kerja sebelum matahari terbit balik selepas matahari terbenam and me even worse after matahari terbit the next day. Yes your dad had built skyscraper and your mum had walk the city with Starbuck and watch KLCC at her office window. We meet chinese, indian, banglas and all sort of people. We had tasted the dream of all.

Later, it will be your turn. Chase your own dream and ensure yourself are ready for it. You judge yourself what sort of life you want to live. We only want to give all the guide that we can and die one day knowing we left you guys with enough to survive.

Sesungguhnya aku kesian tengok mak ayah yg dah tua xboleh nak mati sbb memikirkan apa jadi dkt anak dia bila mereka dah xde.

HIDUP INI TAKKAN INDAH

We live in a world that you can see all people had been shown the lane. Which lane you choose is up to you and the choice will determine where you end. Then came the term Anarchy. Anarchy is the people who go against the lane or break out of the lane. Myself once have this though in me. That normal especially when you are a teenager but when you grow up, you come to a sense that no one is forcing you actually to go into these lane. You are actually moving yourself.

Sebenarnya tak ada istilah pun takdir ke ketentuan ke, We pave our own way. We decide our life. but. In order to be in that position we need the power to decide. Siapa nak atas dunia ni hidup susah kena kerja macam2. bangun pagi. but we do it in term of responsibility. To feed our mouth to fight another day.

The point here is untuk menuntukan hidup kita, kita kena ada power in term of will, money, money, money and time baru kita boleh decide. Kalau dari awal asyik nak rebel je kita umpama anjing menyalak bukit. We need all of the power first then we can be the hand that control the puppet. To get the power it is not a shame to go with the lane first but make sure you remember your goal and keep in control. When the right time come show yourself and control all.

HIDUP INI TAKKAN INDAH, KITA YANG KENA MENGINDAHKAN DIA

ABAH

To a son his father is the person he see up most, the one he look to and the one he want to become. For me he is the one i want to prove myself and make him proud of me.

• You can have a dad that is a criminal but still look after his daughter like Dead Shot.
• Your dad can be a pious man spent time praying but dislike working to earn a living
• You can have a dad that is so nice that would not scold the child on anything that he did wrong

What kind of dad you want to be just remember there is all kind of dad in this world but in some way your dad will reflect on you and yourself will reflect to your child